Before you start to take back control and feel better about your relationships, take a blank piece of paper and write the person's name at the top. Now let your thoughts turn to the positive side of their nature.
If it's your partner, they might at some point have been kind, funny, generous, thoughtful, sexy, affectionate or just good fun. If it's a relative, they could be helpful, and if it's your kids they might make you laugh or just produce feelings of great love as you watch them quietly sleeping. Think of the kind of behaviour that you'd like more of and then write it down.
When have you enjoyed their company? What were you doing and what made it enjoyable? Write it all down and then focus on it for a few minutes. Let yourself feel how you did when you last experienced that behaviour, hear what was being said and get a clear picture in your mind.
Notice how you start feeling more positive from just spending a few moments focusing on the good stuff. Now find regular intervals during the day when you can look at this piece of paper and practice refocusing your mind - in the car, doing housework, on the train or waiting in a queue. You don't have to put time aside, but you do need to remember to do it!
You might notice an immediate shift in your feelings or you may experience something more subtle. Look out for the changes - they will be there. When you change how you feel about something, that something will change. It is not coincidence.